When I was first hired as an instructor at UNI, I don't honestly think I was ready yet to teach teachers (just coming to terms with this by the way, I always looked elsewhere for the origin of my discontent). I was still a little green; and in my own insecurities I retreated to what I "thought" I was supposed to do. I retreated to what I thought serious teacher education should look like despite my own misgiving of this for years, both as an undergrad student and as a practicing art teacher. I don't know that I was being true enough to who I was as a teacher... and what was working for me as an educator because I thought I had to present teaching as something else.
I knew three things pretty early on in teaching post secondary. 1). I really wanted to get back to the public schools. 2). I was getting myself into way too many "Do as I say, and not as I do." situatioins in teacher education and I did not like that feeling at all. 3). When I got back to the public schools I was going rock it so hard, the kids wouldn't know what had hit them!
So here's the weird feedback loop I'm trying to describe. Good public school teacher, transitioned to a mildly struggling/ not totally fulfilled college instructor, transitioned to a way better public school teacher, that is now finally transitioned back to adjuncting at the college level, and I could not be more excited to be back. I'm excited to have another opportunity to be more true myself and share the good stuff I've learned in this weird cycle. I'm excited to actually tell my college students "Do as I do... ya' know, if you want, because it's working for me. But if that doesn't jive with you, that's cool, find your own way." Doesn't quite have the same ring to it.